Smiling in my eyes...

这是在《星洲日报》介绍过的一本书，前几天在大众书局看到。

最主要告诉我们的是，学佛不是什么都不要，而是在拥有的时候，以平常心看待。“只要我们懂得不执著的去感谢一切，所有的过程和体验都是美好的。为何我们要去执著或强求这种甜蜜和感动，要永远不变地重复出现？”作者是想厘清许多学佛者的盲点，不只是拘于形式教条，而是以更明觉的心，全然接受生活中的每一个当下。

值得一读。

Just back from 5 days of Alokarama Youth Camp. First time going to Alokarama Retreat Center at Asahan. We are guided by Venerable Mahinda and Sister Sumaggala, and Mr and Mrs Lim, as our parents in this camp, cook meals for us... Sadhu to them... (Sadhu=excellence)

Every morning we will do chanting at the shrine hall and meditate at stupa (pagoda that houses Buddha's relics, 舍利塔). The stupa is situated on top of a mount, with spiral-like walking path all the way to the top. In the dark we walk all the way up, with concentration on the steps we are taking. After a short meditation, sun ray approaches us when we lift up our eyelids. Breathtaking scene catch my eyes and peace my minds..

We are given many talks and exposure to the natural way of living. We learned various kinds of herbs and its usage there, and try to harvest some of them for a meal. We prepared ulam rice, but i can't have it nicely with my face turn red and tears running out.. hav to give more practice in accepting spicy food coz though i can't tolerate it, i LOVE it.

In one of the talk "In time of challenge, are you really prepared? Be ALERT", given by Aloka Emergency Readiness Team (ALERT), we learned to keep an eye on the possibilities of facing natural disasters such as flood and tsunami in coming years and be prepared in physical fitness, psychological and spiritually. Although Malaysia is quite a safe zone for natural disaster, but as the result of global warming and change of earth plate patterns from earthquakes, we can see places other than flood zone being flooded, feel the shakes and tremors from neighbouring countries etc. I don't know much about the details, but this talk taught me to be prepare while we are in comfort (Hope for the best, Do what you can, Prepare for the worse). We are advised to prepare a emergency bag with food, drinks and surviving kits which can sustain our live in case of awaiting rescuing. We also have to be prepare for case of fire emergencies at home. After that we are separated in few groups to make our water filter by using natural material, but all groups failed to turn a dirty soil water to crystal clear water. Inform me if u are interested in knowing what to be included in a emergency bag etc.

From the talks given by Bhante, the most i learned is to not just learn the dhamma, but to practice it diligently, to be mindful in my bodily actions, speech and thought. This is the first time i go to Alokarama, and i'm hoping the subsequent visit... For my kalyana mitras who wish to visit places that Buddha being born, gain enlightenment, giving the first discourse (4 Noble Truths) and ceased (maha-parinibbana), Aloka Foundation is organising trips to these holy places in this few years, around 2 weeks, in Nov.

Aloka's website: http://www.alokafoundation.org

Thanx to xiao zhang, i hav another dhamma camp to join next week, at Alokalama Retreat Centre, situated near Tangkak. (though it is inside Tampin district, my hometown!!)... Can hardly miss the camp coz it may be the place i will always drop in after start working at malacca. The search for places to continue learning dhamma and get along with Kalyana Mitra (spiritual friends).. Miss them all ever since i left penang... The decision is quite hard, coz i have to give up the first week of practical at HUSM, no pain, no gain.

3 days ago I made a decision to do something that will help me to gain more flexibility in life later, so I can join whatever camps or programs I want to.. To ensure that I never stray away from the right path in life... Thanx to my 4 years uni life that nurtures, equips and cultivates me to understand myself better and become more contented in life... Ha... not wasting the four precious years... coz sometimes feel that I'm really.. OLD already... marching to 24. Am I still the same like past?? Maybe have to be more responsible in life, ain't a student to make stupid decisions and mistakes anymore. To be responsible to myself, my parents, my younger siblings, my beloved friends, my future counterparts and patients.

At home... really really enjoy... sweet sweet time... Please, please, please, allow me to stay near to my hometown... please...

闷热的下午，四号风扇只是把热空气推到我身上，让我感觉到有风，而已。

才从十五分钟的午觉醒过来，不想回到《Pharmacotherapy》上，所以眼睁睁地看着天花板发两分钟的呆。

（这时Housemate小胖拿了偷拍我刚才睡“大字型”的照片给我看。删除无效。）

再过两天就是我大学最后一张考试。转眼间，在当了十七年的学生后，我就要告别“只要把书读好”的日子了。接下来就是身份转移的过渡期。

当学生是很轻松的，不需背负任何责任，只要把学生的本分做好，可以在学习的前提下尽量犯错，尽量被提醒，尽量享受无忧无虑，自由自在的日子。当学生是很快乐的，除了让人寝食难安的考试，其余日子都是很很很快乐的。我即将告别这快乐的日子，去承担更重大的责任了。换句话说，我即将告别只是接受恩惠的日子，去给予别人服务了。

（在此要感谢两位当小学教师的父母，从小学就给我打好基础，让我在过后的学习都得心应手，且除了专心学习以外不必烦恼任何事。有时在想，我的责任只是把书读好，如果连这么小事都做不到那就很惭愧了。幸亏一直以来我都没让他们失望，哈。）

这次的考试读得很开心，因为主要不是为了准备考试，而是为将来的工作准备。懂多一些，就能让工作顺利一些，帮助病人多一些。以前考试都是很期待考完试当天可以去Happy Hour，这次呆在家读书也蛮享受的。（不过也安排了考完试的节目。）反正我准备在做工前要“重温旧识”，适逢考试能鞭策我更专心读，何乐不为。

要去做工了，爸妈应该蛮开心吧。离乡背井，家人已经习惯我的不存在，感觉上我离开家很久了。回家时会与他们有“代沟”，因为很久没update近况。所以每次回去都会猛问“最近家里有发生什么事吗？”“你很希望家里有事吗？”哈。

回去计划买一辆车，要学会自己驾车去上班，要学会不要一直死火，要赚钱养家。哈哈，蛮期待的，因为还没有体验到做工的辛苦。可是再辛苦，再被上司骂也要工作，所以，乐观点，神经大条点比较好。

加油！工作的朋友，我要加入你们的行列了！